Friday, January 21, 2005


The Oxford dictionary defines the term ‘tomboy’ as: a girl who behaves like a boy. So naturally I was horrified when my good male friends used this term to describe me the other day. They argue that this is a compliment! That I should be thrilled about it! Ppff!! Men!! I was not so thrilled about this, as you can imagine. I always had this definition in my head of what I considered a tomboy to be. A girl who is a bit masculine, who is a bit rough around the edges and who doesn’t have many feminine qualities.

Let me point out the following:
- I have never been camping in my life. I don’t like roughing it and I actually wrinkle my nose up when people suggest that we go camping.
- I spend a lot of time getting my hair and nails done and hardly ever make any public appearances sans-makeup!
- I have never played a sport in my life. If sex was an Olympic sport, it would be a different story – but seeing as it is not, it’s safe to say I’m not much of an athlete.

While I can understand why they said that – it is till doesn’t mean that I have to accept it. I swear a lot, I have a very dirty one-track mind and don’t cry while watching chick movies – but this doesn’t mean that I have an honorary penis!

I prefer the company of males because I find their friendship to be low maintenance and non-complicated. Which brings me to my next point…can men and women just be friends? My sister disagrees with this and thinks that it is most inappropriate that I hang out with guys on a regular basis. Something about guys only wanting to be friends so that they can get down my pants. But I disagree. Sure, they have been times where I have found out that a guy was only my friend for that reason – but I think that is the exception and not the general rule.

I think that it is important to have a wide mix of people to spend time with and that include people of the opposite sex. Otherwise you put too much pressure on your partner. I know that I am never going to find a partner that LOVES all the things that I love. These friendships provide something extra. They can help fulfill other areas in your life and take the pressure off finding an amazing partner who is perfect. Just isn’t going to happen. I’m not negative – just a realist.

So please let me know what you think. Am I wrong? While I realize that the comments in regards to my ‘tomboy’ ways will be restricted to people that know me, I think that comments about male/females relationships can be made by all. Do you have any HARD evidence to say that we all shouldn’t be friends?

And one more thing. I am not much of a drinker – but under no circumstances will I drink beer! See – I think if I was a tomboy I’d be enjoying a cold Coopers Pale ale on a frequent basis.

Take that, Myerson!


Blogger myerson said...

No, I refuse to take "it".
I meant it as a compliment, but I take it back if it was offensive.
I notice that you completely and utterly ignored the definition that I read to you from the Oxford Dictionary:
"Tomboy n., girl who enjoys rough, noisy recreations".
For the other question, yes, platonic relationships with the opposite sex are not only realistic, but beneficial as you stated. Anyone who thinks otherwise has a serious primary school-type mentality going on.
On a completely different note, my car's been acting up, so if its okay with you I might have to stay over after dinner tonight. Oh, and all my clothes have shrunk, so they may have to be removed in the interests of comfort.

January 23, 2005 at 7:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't get me started on this one girl!!! I'll try & be short, sharp & sweet & hopefully get an opinion on something I had to deal with.
Firstly, I think it IS possible for men & women to be friends and not sexual. However, it depends on the individuals involved. Both males and females can have 'ulterior motives' of getting the 'friend' into bed. It's something that you have to assess on the merits of each case. The case I had to deal with recently:- partner advises that he was contacted by someone he had a brief relationship with during a period when we were not together. I didn't know about that relatonship at the time, which incidently was a very difficult period for me as I didn't want to break up. Anyway, he says he'd like to remain friends with her. This same girl openly flirted with him AND asked him out AFTER we got back together, AND in my presence (but before I knew about the extent of their prior relationship) What the?!?!? The decision was ultimately his of course, but I let him know that she represented a very low period in my life, that I didn't believe for one minute that she wanted to only 'be friends', that I didn't trust her as far as I could throw her and that she is likely to view any friendship as a possible passport to a more intimate relationship. Was I wrong?

January 23, 2005 at 7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anony (up above) raises valid points as I think each individual case/person/conspirator needs to be looked at on their merits/demerits. Sure, dudes and dudesses can be and should be and deserve to be 'just friends'. BUT, when this 'friend' goes spastic at the mere thought of a boy/girl/friend entering the picture and your potential to increase your juice meter to whamtastic, then it could be time to reassess your relationship. Maybe there's an ulterior motive. Maybe there isn't. Maybe they're just insecure. [I guess something similar can be said for a 'best friend' who enjoys meddling in YOUR affairs, but this is from a slightly different P.O.V., cause all of a sudden the 'opposite sex friend' is sticking his/her beak into YOUR area of potential (s)expertise, and that's a no-go-zone in my books].
You don't go camping and you don't drink beer and you love geting your nails done...Wow, what a portfolio. Even with your self-proclaimed highly elevated desire to do the horizontal hijinx...Jesus...Talk about deminishing your chances of finding a decent bloke. You just lost 40% of the male readership to your blog (the remaining 60% will contact you shortly to see whether you're available for a one-nighter, after which they'll promise to call again within six to eight weeks). BTW, I'm neither interested nor available, so it isn't one of those 'conflict will get us together cause I know she loves to be treated like a wench' scenarios I'm hoping for. How are you gonna go camping and spend your ENTIRE TIME, doing dirty and romantic things with the bloke you eventually fall in love with if you 'wrinkle your nose up when people suggest you go camping'? YOu have to try something before you can hate something, otherwise what's the point in doing anything new? I think you're definitely a realist.

January 23, 2005 at 8:32 PM  
Blogger Udder-1 said...

The Oxford Dic's definition differs from my own stereotypical view of what a tomboy is. I thought it was more along the lines of your definition. That not withstanding, I don't really see why any 'girl' should feel embarrassed by someone calling them a tomboy, since behaving 'like a boy' could mean so many different things... Do you urinate standing up? Do you announce when you're about to fart or do you just do it (I'm like Nike; I just do it). Do you rub your scrotum while talking to a friend? That kind of shit.
Anyway, if someone has the mentality of a 12 year-old, then, no, one cannot have a relationship with a member of the opposite sex based solely on friendship. However, if someone has taken a step beyond childish insecurities and is able to express him/herself openly and honestly, then what's the hassle? I have many friends of the opposite sex AND I'm married AND I'm mor e than 12 years-old (mentally; physically, I'm just entering my fourth year of existence).

January 24, 2005 at 2:04 PM  

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