Monday, June 28, 2004

Waking up next to you...

It has been a while since my dancing shoes have been out and about, but Friday night I decided to dust them off and put them to good use by taking a Uni friend, Imogen to a local haunt. She lives on the other side of town – and I think it was rather scary for her to leave the safety net of the ‘5000’ postcode area. But once she had regained consciousness, I think that she was ok.

I have to say, it is rather funny being out at a nightclub when you are not single. I had this one guy talking to me who slipped his arm around me – now here is the real test…was he just being friendly or was he trying to hit on me? Now, if I assume that he is just being friendly, then I may run the risk of leading him on and if I jump down his face and tell him that I am ‘spoken for’ and to remove his arm – he may turn around and say:
‘Hey lady – get over yourself – I was just resting my arm on your shoulder!’

Drama! Drama!

How does one survive in the world?

But not to despair – I did take someone home that night – I got to spend the night sleeping next to Imogen – who breathes louder in her sleep than anyone else I have ever met! It was like sleeping next to Darth Vadar!

You will all be happy to know that I finally got a booty call – after being dissed Thursday night for several (dozen) Cooper’s Pale Ale. (and I know that a few boys were excited then – I did NOT have any lesbian action with Imogan – my booty call was definitely from the opposite gender.) It was well worth the wait – though I have never been one for waiting (that is another thing that shits me – perhaps I should have put that on my list too!!) So now my jaw is sufficiently sore and I have carpet burns – the calling card for good, clean, wholesome fun!

Saturday, June 26, 2004

Booty or not to booty??

Sorry kiddies!
I have been having a bit of an issue with my internet currently and haven’t been able to log on – so many apologies for being a bit slow on the update.

Well – I was most disappointed when my booty call did NOT arrive on my doorstep on Thursday night. Apparently HE got caught up at the pub and got a little bit too drunk. And when men have drunk too much – let’s face it, there are not good for too much! So wasn’t a huge loss when you think of it like that. But what I want to know is – what is better to you – Alcohol or SEX?

It is very important that you post a comment and tell me which way the pendulum swings for you in this very important mater. Please do not send money – but post a comment on the “Mad Pussy” foundation.

I know what I would pick – and let me tell you – it isn’t alcohol! I’d prefer to have a “screaming orgasim” in preference to just drinking one – but hey – that’s just me!

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Now..let's not get the wrong idea...

Many of you may think that “Mad Pussy” is just the name I am giving to saucy girls all around the globe who like to take life by the balls and give them a gentle squeeze – but alas – you are sadly wrong.

Mad Pussy is also in honor of my mad pussy…And before any of you get the wrong idea, this has nothing to do with my “Down South” area resembling a frowning face.

No, no
I have a CAT.
He is mad!
He is crazy.
And he eats Fritz.

Yes – Skittles is the new man in my life.
Sure, he’s a little unpredictable and he sits outside the windows and howls – but so far – has treated me better than anyother guy that I have lived with.
He doesn't leave the toilet seat up.
He is always up for a cuddle - pity about him being a bit crazy.

Now...on to a pussy of another nature - I have to go and shave mine - as I have a booty call arriving on my door step in about three hours time...

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Things that shit me

There are a number of things that shit me – so in the interest of my ‘health’ – I have decided to vent these feelings and give you my top five…in no particular order…here we go…

1. Mini chocolate Bars
They call them ‘fun-size’ – I see nothing fun about a chocolate bar so small that if you blinked, you miss it. I like my chocolate like my men – Big, thick and with a deliciously creamy filling. If you’re anything like me, once you get a taste for chocolate, it’s all over.
2. People allergic to work
There are so many people at my work who are retarded when it comes to things like photocopying or removing paper from a jammed photocopier – I mean – for fuck sake –it’s not brain surgery – you open it up, you take out the paper…what’s the big deal? In fact, I don’t think I have ever seen so many people panicking like I do when the photocopier is out of order.
3. Text snobs
People who only text you back when they feel like it – and then tell you something along the lines of: “Sorry I didn’t text you back – been flat out” – yeah – because it takes all of two seconds to send a message. I know how busy you must be with your busy arse-scratching schedule, so it’s no wonder that you couldn’t get back to me…
4. Come again…?
Still on the subject of text messages – people who abbreviate words in a message when there is really no need to. I understand this when you are planning on using all 160 characters, but the rest of the time, it just makes you look like a dyslexic child. “Wot u up 2 @ de mo? Im so ung ova”
5. Skeletons with skin around it
Otherwise known as really, obscenely skinny girls. I realise that for some people, this cannot be helped – but I hate it when these girls eat 3 M&M’s and then tell you how fat and bloated they feel…just get over it!

Sunday, June 20, 2004

The Pussy is here

Yes kiddies! The MAD PUSSY is here and I have lots of stories for you girls and boys that I am sure you will want to hear! If you like knitting, long walks on the beach, going to bed at a reasonable hour and think pre-marital sex is wrong - then you need to FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!!!

If you like sex, drugs rock & roll - chips, dips, chains and whips - then stay tunned...